Unusual Love Story
by Aiiro Hart
Summary: Inspired by all types of songs, a series of one-shots of different aspects of what we know to be love. Break ups, meetings, tragedies...everything! Pairings include SasuxSaku, NaruxSaku, and JiraiyaxTsunade. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1: Because I Know You

**Hello every one! Welcome welcome welcome! As I said in the summary, this will be a series of one shots of different pairings in different romantic situations. Most of the one shots are inspired by songs by a Guatemalan artist called Ricardo Arjona. This first chapter is inspired by his song "Te Conozco", which is "I know you" in English. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Because I know You**

It's raining heavily, it's very late at night and I can't sleep. I am unfazed with the cold sheets against my back, I just toss and turn a couple of times and try find some comfort in this lumpy mattress and close my eyes, willing my body and mind to shut down for the night. But...I can't sleep. With no other alternative I can use to lure the sleep I know will never come, I leave my bed and sit in the worn, old armchair in the corner of my apartment. Armed with only a nightlife view before me and a bottle of whiskey in my hand, I sit, and my mind drifts, rapt with thoughts of you.

I know that you know, but when did you notice? When did you notice that I know everything about you? From the top of your pretty head to the tips of your dainty toes; I know it all. I know you so well that I can tell what you're thinking by the sound of your voice. I know that you snore lightly, that you sleep upside down, and often lie about your age. I often wondered about that last one, because no matter your age, you have always been beautiful. You have always had your pretty, long blonde hair as soft as velvet, skin as smooth as silk and a smile so bright it could put the sun to shame. I know that you know I am very aware that underneath that pretty face is a very nasty temper and a somewhat violent personality to match; and we both know I absolutely adore that about you.

The burning after taste the alcohol leaves in my throat is not enough of a distraction. I can't help but think about the past, you know? I remember you once told me that painful love is not love, but I beg to differ. My dear, this miserable love of mine taught me how to drink, and drinking has been my only hobby in what feels like forever. Hey, I wonder if you remember that time you almost burnt our kitchen to ashes trying to make me a birthday cake. When I ran into the house, it was covered in pitch black smoke, and I could hear your loud cursing from the entrance. Have you noticed you curse like a sailor? It's adorable. I remember how much I laughed, because I knew you hated the kitchen with a passion; I was so happy that you would willingly enter it for me. How I wish for those days to come back...how I long for you to come back.

Fight for me, you said…when I thought that after this long I wouldn't have to do it. I thought that our love was so strong, no one could ever come between us. You even tried to convince me so, and I tried my best to believe you; to trust you. And I did, but I did not trust that damn snake you called "a friend". I could see it in his eyes, how he looked at you. He was patiently biding his time, waiting to come between us when he saw we were struggling to stay together. Do you believe me now, when I told you those were always his intentions?

That person beside you…he doesn't make you cry, does he? Is he anything like me? Do you think of me when he does what I used to? Does he know you like I do? Does he even know half of who you are, or how you think and lie? Does he have the sensibility to put you first when you are so immersed in acts of love? Does he even love you half as much as this fool that you left behind? These questions haunt me every night. How can I possibly fall asleep when I know you are being held by someone else.

"please don't leave" I know you wanted to hear those words; I could tell. But, I thought you knew me better than that. I guess I loved you so seriously that I genuinely thought you knew me as deeply and completely as I did you. I thought you 'd know by now that I have always been a coward who pretends to be tough. I thought you'd know that even though I would mean it from the bottom of my heart, they were simply words I couldn't say.

Right now, as I have nothing more to lose or win, I guess I'd just like to say how much you really did deserve better than me, how much I miss your hair when it someway or another ended up in my face, or how much you nagged at me to take care of your stupid pig when we should've had him for Christmas so long ago.

I can only ask of you to live as if I should feel jealous. I really am, really deep down. Because I still cannot understand how you forgot me, when I'm still so desperately and maddeningly in love with you. I have always loved you too severely, haven't I? I thought I couldn't live a day without you, but I am managing somehow. I bear the pain somehow, I bury the loneliness some way, and as I do this, I hope you are happy with him but secretly wishing to come back to me. If our paths cross someday, I hope you treat me as a stranger and keep walking. If I were to see even a speck of yearning in your amber eyes, I would go looking for you one day, only to be rejected and turned away like an abandoned dog. I don't think I can handle that a second time.

As the last drop of alcohol leaves the bottle and goes down my throat, I feel like I come undone. My chest hurts and my sight is blurry, and I don't even want to find if its due to intoxication or misery.

Take the good memories with you, I don't need them anymore. Take away the sweet scent you left in my clothes, and the pictures in the walls; take away my heart while your at it. I don't think I'll use it again.

I think I truly am as hopeless and useless as you said. I can't seem to do anything right by myself. That promise to be together forever, I'll forget about it now. I promise. I will feel much less, and therefore hurt much less. I'll get out of this small town and see the world, I'll drown myself in more alcohol and women than I can count. Who knows, maybe I'll write a book when I'm older and have nothing else to do.

I will disappear, and you will miss me when I'm gone. You will ask for me and look for me, and you will realize your too late, as late as I was to stop you from leaving me the first time. with these fantastical delusions, sleep finally claims its hold on me and, thankfully, I escape the thoughts of you in a dreamless slumber.

Day by day, I'll fade away. From everyone and everything. I am too immature to face this pain right now, so I rather leave.

Say goodbye, my beautiful Tsunade...

* * *

 **What did you think?! Was it good? please comment and share your thoughts! It's my favorite part in writing! The pairing for next chapter is SasuxSaku! Look forward to it!**


	2. Chapter 2: How Can I Forget Her?

**HEY EVERYONE! Thank yo so much for reading the first chapter of these one-shots and giving them a chance. I'm so sorry for the late update, but I really hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Thank you for the reviews and the follows, they flatter me greatly and spur me to write faster! XD Now, on with the chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Read and Review Please!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: How Can I Forget Her?**

The streets were bustling with tourists and couples passing by. The light posts scattered across the roads casted dim yellow lights that in turn created a pattern of colorful spots followed by shadows. As per usual, I sat in the corner of Florida Street, playing a few songs with my trusty, old guitar for strangers in the streets of Buenos Aires. I've been doing this for a few months now. Carrying nothing but an old guitar and a faded backpack full of empty dreams, I set out to know the world about two years ago. Somehow, I ended up playing in the tourist sites of Argentina, across the world from what I once called home. Lately, I had discovered that I liked it here; the atmosphere is nice and the tips are more than generous. The food is different from what I was used to, and the people are nice and friendly.

I wish I would've known sooner how tonight would change my life. There I was, singing the most ridiculously romantic song in the local language, when I saw a woman clad in blue walking my way. She was a rare beauty, showing off her alabaster skin in a tight miniskirt, her coral hair blowing in the wind behind her. "What an enchanting sight" I had thought. She approached me, swaying her hips with a cat-like gait. She requested me to sing for her. Any song from her favorite artist, and I was lucky that the only one I knew turned out to be her favorite one. She smiled brightly at me and swayed along to the notes that suddenly seemed to echo throughout the crowded street.

"That was beautiful" she said, reaching towards the worn straw hat near my feet and dropping an impressive amount of bills; ones with which I would definitely invite her for a coffee. Thankfully, she stayed until the end of my performance, looking at me with frisky emerald eyes and enticing grin. Gathering all the courage a traveling musician could possibly own, I asked her to have a drink with me in the café at the end of the street. It was a nice, tranquil place where coffee was both good and cheap, and the aroma of freshly brewed produce hung in the air. It was dim lighted and cozy, with countless pictures hanging from the old walls, and many booths, stools and couches scattered across the checkered floor. Old rock and roll music playing softly in the background created a nice ambience that felt like coming home. It was my favorite place to be after a long night playing. It seemed she was familiar with the place. She entered without looking around and waved at the cashier in the corner before sitting in one of the stools, patting the one next to her invitingly.

I remember I spouted whatever nonsense I could come up with flirtatious intent, throwing compliments and flattery her way, and occasional phrases from the most romantic songs I could recall at the moment. Every time she giggled or blushed only encouraged me to make more of a fool out of myself. After telling her that her smoldering eyes were more beautiful than the most genuine emerald, she smothered me with her gaze.

"You'll have to take care of yourself, boy" her voice was as rich and sweet as chocolate, but as cutting and dangerous as a knife. But I was in too deep to back away; way too entranced in her eyes to notice her tone of warning. "Of what?" I had asked, challenging and somewhat playful.

"Of me" she said, standing up from her stool in front of me and walking, awfully slowly, towards the exit. Knowing that she was doing this purposely, I didn't think twice about following her out the double doors. A yellow taxi waited for her in the corner, and without asking the driver took us to a shifty looking strip club. Taken a back and more surprised than I would ever imagine, I asked her "are you sure about this?" and she laughed loudly "Sasuke, you idiot; this is where I work!" and without another word, she went in as if she owned the place. I, once again, followed without question.

I've been to Istanbul and El Cairo, to the heights of the Everest, to the streets of Paris and the depths of Malaysian rivers. I've traveled the world and saw beauty beyond my wildest dreams, but all of that beauty was too little and could not compare after seeing her unclothed. Her skin was pure, unaltered alabaster; her curves were steep, imposing mountains and her legs were never-ending roads. It was in that moment, where neon lights, mist, and loud music surrounded her that I fell in love.

I went on and followed her to Río, we worked in the same run down yet incredibly popular bar. She would sell her beautiful silhouette in the limelight, and I played in a blues band in the darkest corner. I think her popularity only increased after that; but so did her ego. One day we found ourselves in Mexico, where I earned us money by playing in the very center of Zona Rosa, the most cosmopolitan and commercial area of the city. While I was doing that, she continued with her yearnings and dreams of becoming a great and famous super model. She looked everywhere, auditioned wherever, took pictures, and always worked hard for recognition. I always wished that an agency would be keen enough to see the beauty that I see in her.

When she found a "trustworthy agent" who would make her dreams come true, we left Mexico City with that dubious man. I lost sight of her in Las Vegas, when "Uncle Madara" changed everything, from her way of dress to how she spoke and acted. And he even added a few hobbies and quirks that went from powder to pills, and from illicit bottles to prohibited needles. When I grew fearful that she would get bored of me, that she would leave me, I think I clung so tight that I drove her away. She made me anxious, and because of that I did foolish things. She made me sense it…the feeling that she would be gone someday. Falling in love with her taught me the fear of losing something; and just as I realized this, she was gone. The only thing she left me was a small note on the bedside table. It didn't say goodbye; it only said to forget she was ever there.

But how can I forget her, that stripper with the coral hair? She left her footprints and her dents, her scratches and her bite marks both on my neck and in my life. How could I possibly forget all these memories of her? Of her waking up beside me, of her running around trying to find us transport for our next city, of her staying up all night drinking with me…of her dancing to our song.

The last time I saw her, she was in a comatose. Paler and thinner than ever, the awkward hospital gown did her beauty no justice. The countless machines hooked up to her, the numerous tubes going in and out of her, and the constant interruptions of the nurses prevented me from seeing her as clearly as I wanted. On her last day, I sang her favorite song, the one who wrote our destiny together when we first met. Our song. I could have sworn she, for a moment, looked at me with those frisky eyes and enticing grin, saying "What's up, boy?" before closing her eyes one last time. And I knew that she was gone beyond my reach. Forever.

I bawled and screamed, I broke down and made a mess of my life. What would she think, if she could see me now? My heart is cursing and every day is the same, empty and miserable. I keep calling her name out of habit, I keep looking for her out of loneliness, and I pretend I'm not losing my mind. I thought I could send away these feelings and memories along with her body to the grave, I thought I could move past this in due time without any regrets. But I was wrong. I couldn't send anything away, and I could move past nothing. I only find myself wishing I could forget her. I wish we never met. I wish I had never fallen in love. Why did it have to be her? Why? Why? Why?!

Why did I have to fall in love with such a cruel, selfish, self-centered, deceitful, sly and beautiful woman? Why did I have to fall for her incorrigibly sly antics, and her charming smiles? Why was I willing to do anything for such a heartless woman? Why did I have to feel so god damn happy every time she lovingly called out my name? This is so depressing. I love her. I hate that I love her. I despise myself because I know I will always love her. Because it's _her._ How can I rip these feelings off, how can I burn them, bury them….destroy them forever? I want to forget, I want to go back to how it was before all of this every happened.

But how can I forget her, that stripper with the emerald eyes. Besides being my lover, she was my sister, my best friend. How can I forget the only woman who made me live beyond my expectations, leave behind my inhibitions and taught me how to dream… think it would be much easier to forget myself.

How can I forget this broken heart?

"I love you" I let her out of my sight without ever saying those words. "I'm sorry" these words are a late confession she will never hear. This thought alone is enough to haunt me for a hundred years. It feels like forever since I last saw her beautiful face, but I keep asking myself the same maddening question every night before I close my eyes and dream of her. Somehow the letter they gave me after she passed always repeats itself in my head.

 _My stupid Sasuke:_

 _I know I left you stranded in Las Vegas, and I left without a word. I will not apologize for that, because you knew that my dream had always been my priority. I regret nothing. I have been too busy to miss you, so I will use that excuse for now. I just wanted you to know…that…I am sick. I know it's well deserved, so I won't exactly give you meaningless details. I just want you to know that I was looking for you. The moment I knew that my time was limited, that I would not have "the rest of my life" to spend on you, I knew I had to find you. I thought that you would hate me, that you would curse me and my guts for having the impudence of only reaching out to you now._

 _However, when I saw you waiting at the place we always promised to meet, I lost my words. I love you. I still love you, so why does my life have to end in the middle? I can't believe that today or tomorrow these feelings will be gone. Will it be as if nothing ever happened? That's why, I wanted to know that at least inside you, I will always live on… that hot summer night, where the last note resounded and the moon went away. I was watching the city turn bright and I was simply happy. I wanted to wait for you forever. But what reached me were feelings without a shape. The time that had stopped is moving again, and I fear that it will not wait for me, as should you. Don't wait for me, Sasuke, because I was never the woman you deserved, and now I will never have the chance to be. I love you, but I cannot act upon these feelings. If I did, I would probably be too self-serving. First loves are bittersweet, but I hope you can overcome it. I'm glad we had the times together to just laugh, sing a song or drink the night away, if I look back, it seems as if it was just yesterday and, before I knew it, those times we had together were gone. Because of this, I hope you bury my memory forever, and look forward to what remains of your life; because if you wait too long, you will miss it. Take care of yourself for me, and become the great musician I have always known you are._

 _With much love, goodbye._

How can I forget Sakura?

* * *

 **I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a review, I would most definitely would like to know your thoughts on it! What did you think? :D**


	3. Chapter 3: Let Me Go

**I hope you like this new one-shot for this story. I hope I was able to convey these kinds of feelings properly. The feelings of regret when you want to end a love-less relationship that's been going on for too long. Please read and review!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Let me go

Today, you woke up beside me with the same sweet smile you give me every morning. You left home before me, saying something about an early shift at work. I vaguely wonder if you are finally seeing through me and are just putting up your defensive wall and running away.

I hate to let you down, and I hate that I know how much this is going to hurt. I know it's going to be sad and heartbreaking, but I will try to comfort myself with the fact that it's going to be the truth. Because right now, I think that telling the truth is the best I can do for you.

Every night, for what seems like a lifetime, I have lain beside you, watching you sleep happily next to me. Careless of the world, rapt in your blissful life. I don't know when it actually happened, but one night, while watching you, I suddenly crashed into the realization that I was so desperately pretending not to see. This is not for me. This life, this love, this bed, this house…these things are not for me. You are not for me. How can I just lay here beside you, seemingly unaffected, ever so impudent? How can I just act so unwavering when I was shaken so long ago? What in the world happened to me? What in the world happened to us, and the promise to always be sincere?

I could see it clearly though, no matter how many times I denied it in my head, or how many times I let it slide, thinking these strange ideals were mere projections of anger when we quarreled. You and I…we are so close that we can't see each other properly anymore. The closer you are to something, the harder it is to see it for what it truly is, and because of that you have been taken for granted. After tonight, I won't lie here and pretend to sleep.

I do not love you. Not like I used to, if I ever did at all. I was young, fantasizing and glorifying the idea of being in love, and how much I wanted to feel in love with somebody and be loved in return. I was taken by the idea of love itself. I was enamored with the possibilities of what you could become, what I could make of you…not the person that was standing before me.

I always thought you'd one day sprout wings and leave me behind to figure out what to do without you—and that infatuated me even more. Yet, as time went by, and the arguments and discrepancies gradually increased, I was finally beginning to see the person underneath the face I loved. I finally saw that the person I thought I wanted to spend my entire life with was not you. I fell in love with what I thought and assumed you were like, basing myself in our short exchanges every day. How shallow of me, I bet you will think.

As I laid with you, realizing and thinking and denying and accepting these things, I finally resigned to what I always knew to be true. I cannot spend the rest of my life with you. It would not be fair to you, as it would not be fair to me either. Instead of torturing ourselves until we die, we should both seek a new chance at love. Remember when you saw me cry –a rarity of sorts—and I would not tell you what was on my mind? Well, now that you will know, I hope it's a good enough reason. I want to end things with you. I want this chapter in our lives to close and never be opened again. But…how can I say these things when you always look so happy to see me?

How can I take back all the words, the promises and kisses when you stare at me so lovingly? How can I possibly break your heart when you devote yourself so wholeheartedly to me?

The guilt is eating me alive. The shame that I cannot love you earnestly, the remorse that I cannot give back all that you have given me…the hugs, the comfort, your youth and the great times throughout the years we have been together…I stole all that and hoarded them greedily, and I will leave you with nothing.

This is probably the most self-serving thing I will ever say, but I want you to hate me. I want you to despise me and get tired of me and let me go. I want you to toss me aside so I don't have to be the one to break your heart. Please let me go…I keep pleading for this every day when you go to sleep. I don't want to be the bad guy in this story. I don't want to be remembered as the one who broke your heart. I am just that selfish. But I can't keep up with this façade anymore, it's too much for someone like me.

Don't call my name so tenderly.

Don't embrace me or laugh at what I say.

Don't kiss me like this.

Don't look at me like that, when I'm here, hurting so much for you.

You are everywhere I go, and everyone I see, but definitely not in the way you would want. Everywhere I go, I contemplate my chances of disappearing and never coming back to you. Everyone I see reminds me of how free I could be if I could just cut my ties with you. Why does this have to be so hard? Why was I born such a coward? I am desperate, and I spur myself to go through with this no good deed. I planned this perfectly, and I will see to it that it is carried out to perfection. It will break you, but you will hate me.

I want you to catch me in this cheap act of infidelity. Yes, just like this, over a stranger's body, in the bed we have shared for countless nights. I hear you come home late at night, and head for the bedroom in search for me. You open the door and you cry, and cry and cry, and I silently, dastardly hope you break down and leave forever.

But you don't.

You smile your way through the pain, you apologize like a fool, and you promise you'll do better, that you will be better to stay beside me.

Don't you understand by now? You are perfect, just not perfect for me. I cannot love you the way you want me to, the way I know I should. What you want isn't always what you need, why can't you see that? Just like you are not who I thought you were, I am also not what you need.

"Let me go"

No.

Don't look at me with those eyes.

Don't cling to me like this.

Let me go.

You don't let me speak, you just cover my lips and keep bawling. The stranger is long gone, but the act remains vivid in your mind. You stand up and turn away from me. You don't say anything and just walk out the door.

If I knew that would be the last thing you ever got to live through, I would have never even let you leave the house that morning.

* * *

 **So, what did you think? I would really like some input in the character's feelings. Can you relate or understand them? Let me know! :D Thank you for reading and reviewing. Until next time!**

 **Aiiro Hart**


	4. Chapter 4: Lost in the Echo of You

******I finally updated this story! this chapter is a little short, but it can be interpreted in various ways. It's inspired by the songs Lost in you by Three Days Grace and Lost in the Echo by Linking Park. I hope you enjoy it and leave a review!******

* * *

 **Lost in the Echo of You**

My feelings are lost in the echo. My very being hums softly in the hollowness of a death like place. Where are you now? Can you hear me?

Come and find me in the dark, I can't seem to find a way out on my own.

Can you hear me calling out to you? I think my voice is drowning in silence. I reach out and grab nothing. I cry out and hear nothing. I run and run, but I'm really going nowhere. No matter how much I struggle, I'm still stuck in the same place. Never changing. Never accepting. Never really living.

How did I become like this? So stagnated...so useless? Are you gone, or is it me? I find myself wandering through the bottomless, endless abyss in which I woke myself in one day. I'm not insane, nor unseeing nor ignorant, I know I'm losing myself because of you. I can feel it, and I feel it because my emotions are not here. All that I have here is the hollow, vacant heart I am unable to save.

Let go of me, save me, destroy me, unravel me. Do anything you want with me, but retrieve me from this dark place that seemingly has no way out. But I know better. If I ever found a way out, it's you. You are the everything that can break this cursed state of mine, you can return me all I have lost, you can make me so much more than I've ever been.

But...how come you turned your back on me when I called out to you? How come you shied away when I reached out? Why did you look away when I was pleading for a sign of anything?

Why did you push me into the darkness I had told you I was so terribly afraid of?

You had me tangled and hanging from your threads, you isolated me from the world I knew and made me lose myself in you. Why did you let me go when you found me no longer to your amusement? If you knew this would happen, why did you destroy me like this? Why did you only consider your venal convenience?

No. Stop. What am I doing? What am I even thinking? I don't want to see you as an evil creature, I'm too much of a dreamer for that kind of thing. I'm too much of a coward to ever accept these inklings. I cherish you too much, hold you too high, miss you too much to do something so self-serving. I don't want to see you as a killer or a beast or a liar or a traitor, I want to see you as beautiful and pristine as I always have. So perfect and serene. So gentle and strong. Immaculate, untainted, fervently optimistic. But all of your beauty is crushing me, breaking me, turning me into some disgusting thing that will never be able to recall what once was. My demons are becoming what I am, and what I used to be is becoming nothing more than a sweet, vague dream I could have had long ago.

Don't you remember when I said I'm nothing without you? Because I do. I remember you laughed it off as if it was nothing and kept walking. You let go of my hand, you looked at my direction without really seeing me, and then I somehow found myself here, in this obscure void I cannot escape.

I guess I reached the nothingness I told you I would become, because you are not here. I cannot hear you, see you, feel you or even remember you anymore. What did your face look like? What did your voice sound like? Surely they were beautiful, I believe it so. But why can't I recall anymore? I cannot reminisce farther than a mere idea. I cannot evoke any kind of image anymore. I think you were beautiful, captivating my heart from the very first time our eyes met, and yet...what color were your eyes?

No.

I don't want the only thing I cherish to become a rotten corpse in the recess of my mind. This which that I'm treasuring so tenderly... I don't want to taint and diminish this little thing inside of me that tells me you were everything.

My damnation and salvation  
My sin and kindness  
My death and life.

Will I keep walking in this nothingness until you deem me worthy of saving, of rebuilding? Will you ever deem me worthy of your love? This memory of mine, it may just be the only thing that keeps me from being completely swallowed by these shadows. I struggle and I rage against them, I rip them from my skin and tear them from my heart, waiting for an unknown something that will most likely never come.

Master, lover, enemy, whatever you were, the sole existence I remember...come and find me in this obscurity now, I was never meant to fight this on my own. Hear me, save me, kill me, do whatever you wish with me, but get me out of this place...of this horrible place without you.

* * *

 **This is it for now. Sorry if it was a little short, I still hope you enjoyed it. I'm dying to know how you interpret this chapter, so leave a comment below and share your thoughts! Until next time!**

 **Aiiro Hart**


	5. Chapter 5: Why did you do this?

I am so sorry, I know my updates have been slow, for all of my stories. I'm trying to be a good student, so please forgive me! I hope you like this little shot! Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

* * *

Why did you do this to me?

How did you do it so easily?

You used to make it hard to smile, but now you just make hard to breathe

But the best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting.

Because you can finally see that I was trying

And that I had loved you from the start.

But how could you do this to me? How could you do this to us?

What were you thinking? When you traded all my I love you's, all my time and effort, all of our memories…what were you thinking when you traded us for a brief second of unrestrained indulgence, with someone who's name you did not even know.

How dare you make a fool out of me. How dare you come back, saying sorry and begging like an idiot. Don't you know that I know you better than that? Don't you know I've known you longer than anyone else? If there's anything I am certain of, it is your inability to ever lie to me. So don't come crying, begging, apologizing like that, because I can see right through you. You are only sorry you weren't able to be the one to get away with murder. You are sorry you have been convicted for your crime in cold blood…for the merciless assassination of the years I doted on you. You killed me when my back was turned, and you are sorry that I was able to catch a last glance.

Fuck you, and your wretched guilt. I hope it burns, I hope it eats away at you forever. I hope it hurts so bad you end up crawling through your life in miserable agony, unable to find any shelter or release in any of your carnal adventures. I hope that you think of what you have done every time you close your eyes.

I hope you die.

Because by killing us, you killed the 'you' that was good and precious and beautiful. You killed the 'you' that mattered, the 'you' worthy of respect, praise and love. You have become nothing now, because you lost everything. You lost me. And there's no one left to blame for that. After working so hard in this relationship, after all the sacrifices and sleepless nights, the tears and the yells and the kisses…we decided to let each other breathe, and everything started to corrode from then. You didn't hesitate, you simply jumped out the window when you saw it was open to let some air in the stagnant room.


	6. Chapter 6: The Palace of my Heart

Going through my memories from time to time, I realize the inevitability of my talent for escape to come into action. I ran away from everything that seemed too distasteful and unpleasant.

I ran away from bullies, I ran away from betrayal and from difficult friendships. I ran away from sickness, from knowledge and from faith. I ran until I couldn't breathe, I ran until my feet bled.

I was always running to the same place; I ran and hid from heartbreak in m sacred place. My shrine, my palace and my dungeon. I played alone, laughed alone, cried and learned alone. It was always me in my castle, me in my catacombs. Always alone in a room that sheltered me from pain and joy. Sometimes, though, I felt I was hiding behind glass walls and paper doors. I lived a transient dream; a fairytale that was carefully woven to be easy and free of conflict. I was a nomad inside these walls, I moved rooms every once in a while without really leaving the comfort of the land itself.

I loved this life. I found adventure in the humdrum days, I found freedom in my inhibitions. Most of all, I found completion and happiness in my solitude. And then one day, before I could gather my fears and move, I was shook.

Violent winds knocked on my doors, quaking branches rapped at my windows. Lightning struck fast and sneaked in through the gaps in the cobblestone. Water started to crawl through the fireplace. I was suddenly caught in a fierce storm, and after I opened the eyes I fearfully shut, my castle was no more. The courtyard in which I ran and hid had been swallowed by the ground. The greenhouse in which I grew my fears and dreams was on fire. The watchtower in which I watched the days go by crumbled. The apple tree under whose shade I slept on sunny days was split and shattered, like my hope of remaining in my cherished paradise.

The palace of my childhood is gone. The walls that warmed me at night and sheltered me during rains had been blown away and scattered far beyond my reach. The sun sets in front of me now, and I feel so vulnerable and exposed. I'm not watching it from my window today. My bed won't keep cradle me tonight. I have nowhere to go, for I have no one. I know no one. Soon, will I become no one as well? I look back upon the debris of my heaven. I take a few bricks, and I start to walk. I will build my castle again, grander and taller than ever in an ever greater land. This time, I will make sure nothing can get through and hurt me again and vengeance and justice shall be brought upon enemy houses.

I ignore myself calling out to me.

"I am a fool who ran away from learning how to live".


End file.
